Degrees of the Most Perfect Ellipsoid Rite
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The following are the degrees of the Dionysian Order of the Triskaidekan Cynomyde Guardians of the Most Perfect Ellipsoid ("Most Perfect Ellipsoid Rite").
- Waterboy
- Practice Roster
- Trinitine Stringer
- Quarter Bacchus
- Knight of the Frozen Nether Regions
- Sublime Elect of Citrullus
- Philosophiae Doctor
- Phrenologicae Doctor
- Pyromaniae Doctor
- Doctor Phil
- Vociferous Archheckler
- Sage of Aqua Vitae
- Imperial Hegemon
- Viceregal Inebriator
- Perambulating Bobblehead
- Professor of Funk
- Ignominious Ingrate
- Gnominious Ingrate
- Bearer of the Pil Hat
- Grand Paladin of Smuts
- Sultan of Swing
- Impudent Archimandrite
- Basileus Kentaustinos